Dearly beloved,

We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of the late, great Claire (Redacted), Ambassador to Planet Zarg of Sector 28 and Queen of A Mass of Land Formally Known As Calgary (AMOLFKAC). 

She lived a long and happy life, and just as she had predicted, died at 101 years old. Let us find some comfort in that she died doing what she loved. A committed actor to the end, upon accidentally switching a prop dagger for a real one, she suffered a fatal (yet highly stylized) death. The audience mistook this mistake for a true loyalty to the bit, and remained at a standing ovation until the paramedics arrived.

A tragic loss.

She is survived by her two cats, Vincent (Redacted) and Jules (Redacted), and assorted children from assorted lovers. She states here in her will that she loves them all equally, and would like to explicitly express that their inheritance shall be split fairly. At the bottom, there is a short footnote that I shall now read.

“If any of you ungrateful creatures tries to get what is rightfully your siblings, I swear I shall rise from the dead and send the lot of you to your rooms. I don’t care that you are all adults. Do. Not. Test. Me.

Love,

Mom.”

Claire (Redacted) once confided in me the source of her inspirations, stating that it had all started in high school in her home town. As many of our distinguished guests here today met her there, I highly doubt this will come as a surprise.

It was there she found her people, a rare occurrence among youth at the time. Those around her accepted her, allowing an environment of creation and performance to flourish. She was hooked, a life long passion conjured. Claire would always say she was by no way a talented writer, actor, or director. Yet she loved to learn, to absorb the ideas of others. It was her passion to sit in the presence of brilliance. Much of that brilliance is sitting among us today.

She was a woman of an attempted confidence; she tried to live her life as if the countless insecurities that dogged her only appeared when she was alone. The appearance she tried to create was one of openness, of an “extended hand” and shoulder to cry on. Yet she was gripped by what others thought of her, and their countless possible interpretations of her actions. If she were here today, I’d want nothing more than to tell her how wrong she was to get caught up in those spirals. I’d want to tell her how valuable she is, and shed the voices of those who shouldn’t affect her.

Claire (Redacted) may not have been the ‘most’ of anything, but she was always what we needed. A laugh after a long day, an embrace after a few tears, a heart to close friends, and a soul to herself. She was a light in our lives, snuffed out by a cosmic twist of fate. (and prop dagger)

As we transition from grief to remembrance, I am reminded of something she said to me one night back when we were young. Upon reflection, it is perfectly applicable here.

I asked her of the legacy she would want to leave (after death or unexplained absence), and she told me it would be one of love.  A legacy of those around her feeling comfort, and on seeing this gathering of her life’s friendships, I hope she would feel accomplished.

A great woman’s life has ended, and for that we mourn. However, as provided by the (Redacted) estate, we invite you to ease your sorrows over at the open bar.

It’s what Claire would have wanted.

 

 

 

Side Note: I want to thank all those who take the time to visit my blog. The simple goal of this site is to express whatever comes into my head in a tangible, creative format; it is a place to escape judgement and to pour ideas from whatever organ wants to take control. I make no claim of greatness, I will claim to write what makes me feel pride and joy.

That is all I promise.

Personal best.

I hope it pleases you.

About Me Gif: author unknown. “Great Planet Gifs.” Best Animations, bestanimations.com/Earth&Space/Planets/Planets2.html.

Coffin Gif: “GIF Dracula’s Brides Are Rising. | 000 Dra c u l a ☆ | Pinterest | Dracula, Horror and Dracula Film.” Pinterest, www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/718394578034752344/